You Scratch My Back I Scratch Your Pedophile’s Back of the Episode: Spencer is making Aria volunteer at Radley to sniff out Bethany clues, so Aria is making Spencer help Fitz move his “research and spy stuff” into storage. But don’t show up too early. He needs time to finish moving his “baking and adolescent pornography stuff” first. Around 6 o’clock should be good.
You Know What They Say, Paige McCullers, She’s A Marshmallow of the Episode: According to Sydney, Paige isn’t in school today because “she has a thing with rodents.” YEAH. Like not wanting them in her swim cap. That “thing.” HOW OVERLY SENSITIVE OF HER.
A Is For Amateur of the Episode: Mona is downright insulted that Emily is accusing her of putting that rat in Paige’s locker.
She insists that such unimaginative acts of revenge are surely the work of the lesser sex. ”A dead rat has boy written all over it. Now if it were say…a cow’s brain, I might even suggest that Paige put it there herself. What do you think, Em?”
Literally Every Art Teacher Ever of the Episode: According to Eddie Lamb, Aria is volunteering at Radley’s reading program, so of course the next time we see her she is helping out during a PAINTING class. Because that makes sense.
Anyway…the teacher proclaims that “There are no mistakes, guys. Great paintings often come out of mistakes.” Every art teacher has some variation of this encouragement. My elementary school art teacher used to say “There’s no such thing as a mistake, only a plan B.”
And it is totally a legit philosophy. It’s like when Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear. At first he was like, “I’ve made a huge mistake,” but then he ended up with a rad self portrait.
Orange Is The New Pretty of the Episode: Next thing you know, a patient named Rhonda is yelling at Aria and accusing her of stealing her stuff because she sees Aria with the drawing of Mrs. D and the demon which her old roommate Bethany gave to her. Watch out, Aria. Before you know it this chick will have you hunting down cockroaches for her cigarette smuggling business.
And DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT mentioning a chicken.
Manipulative Psychopath 101 of the Episode: Despite the fact that this was a premeditated activity, Spencer showing up at Fitz’s apartment is still SO AWKWARD.
Luckily Spencer quickly eases the tension by calling Fitz out on having enough “research and spy stuff” to stalk all the teenage girls within a 50 mile radius.
Knowing that he has to win her over, he forges a connection with her by talking about their respective broken homes and obsession with solving the Ali mystery. And by the end of the day they’re co-chairing a support group for rich children of divorce and Spencer is borrowing his camera to spy on whoever is baiting and trapping the rats in her barn.
Synchronicity of the Episode: Meanwhile, Mrs. Fields is cleverly disguising a “Ali, what are your intentions with my daughter?” dinner as a popover party that everyone’s invited to! Aria and Spencer end up bailing due to mystery solving (omg Aria is actually contributing to the cause you guys I’m so proud) and Hanna is at home with cramps. OR IS SHE? Nope. Emily clearly remembers them sharing tampons under the stalls nary a fortnight ago.
"It’s a terrible idea. Them in there all together. They stay in there too long they’re gonna get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing." - Dwight Schrute
So Emily calls Hanna out on that lie.
Couldn’t find a gif of Em confronting her about this remember when Joey did the same thing to Rachel? Nice.
Etcetera of the Episode: Other things that happened: Alison and Caleb inexplicably took the same exam for entrance to/exit from Rosewood high, Hannily fought after Hanna got drunk during Mrs. Fields’ popover party and insisted that people make their own luck (exception: meteors), Aria found Bethany’s sketchbook under Rhonda’s bed and apparently it’s all about Toby’s mom so I stopped paying attention, Mrs. Fields told Emily that she can stop saving Alison which made her think that that thing with Paige really was just a love dunk so she gave her a call, and the cheese from the panini that Sydney and Hanna split soaked up almost all of the alcohol in Hanna’s system but not before she accidentally admitted that they were in New York and not Philadelphia on the night that Shana was murdered!
Whoops! Turns out Hanna DOES NOT know what Hanna means!
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- Melissa: Parents…parents are not supposed to stop loving each other.
- Spencer: This is not about love. If it were about love then there wouldn’t be bodies buried in backyards up and down the street. This is about lies. And whispered conversations that stop when somebody walks into a room. It’s about Alison. What really happened to her. And what happened to that poor girl who ended up in the ground.
- Melissa: You’re right.
- Spencer: I am?
- Melissa: But it’s still about love, Spencer. Sometimes people do things they can’t explain, things that they regret. But it is still about love.
Kids These Days of the Episode: You know how you can be somewhere and something truly extraordinary can be happening, but you look around only to find that everyone is looking down at their cellphones? That’s how this week’s episode started. Luckily Caleb is back and (I’m assuming) is a 150 year old ghost that is there to remind them of the good ole days.
"Uh…guys. Am I the only one that sees the house that Toby just ran into actively exploding? Guys?"
Who Wore It Best of the Episode:
"This is my black beanie. It matches my hair."
"This is my black beanie. It matches my heart, which has been blackened since my parents announced their inevitable separation. Also, these are my overalls. They match my unrelenting work ethic devoted to getting those two crazy kids back together."
Oops…I Did It Again of the Episode: I could have sworn that somebody slipped on something during this episode.
Oh yeah, right. It was twice.
But I can’t quite remember what she slipped on due to my selective memory that protects me from anything I hear that is SO DISGUSTING that it borderlines on traumatizing. Let’s all just assume she was talking about slipping on the ultra low hanging fringe from her favorite skull emblazoned t-shirt.
Be A Topanga (What’s a Topanga?) of the Episode: Do you all remember when Fred Savage played that professor that tried to get with Topanga? Of course you do. He was the worst. It was so so so creepy and wrong.
You see, I don’t enjoy not liking Aria. I really wish I did. My problem is that Ezra totally reminds me of Fred Savage. My problem is that Topanga and ABC were both like, “No. Stop. You’re making me uncomfortable. This is wrong,” and Aria and ABC Family are saying “This is cute and sexy and here’s Aria topless straddling Ezra and #Ezria4Ever.”
I don’t know guys. I watched Girl Meets World this weekend and I surprisingly didn’t hate it and now I have a lot of Corey and Topanga feels.
Picass-Oh-No! of the Episode:
Why is nobody worried about who the demon is, though?
Get On It, Youtube of the Episode: You know how someone put Nyan Cat on a loop for 10 hours?vSomeone should do that with #PaigeBeScreaming.
I’m pretty sure this was her last scene of the episode so for all we know this is still happening.
Who Wore It Best (Part 2) of the Episode:
"I stayed up all night."
"I stayed up all night."
Other things happened. We talked about them on twitter.
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Anonymous said: You two are literally perfect I spend the majority of my time stalking your blog (oops). I love your account so much you guys have the best blog in the world. Your recaps are better than everything and are really funny. You two are so perfect. I love you guys so much
Aww…you’re too sweet!
But now I kind of feel bad that there hasn’t been much to stalk lately.
So if something juicy happens on tonight’s episode (like Emily punching somebody in the face or Jenna’s most recent domestic explosion actually restoring her eyesight) then I will be sure to recap it for your enjoyment!
Wait I just remembered that Emily once went all stabby stabby on A…
So punching somebody probably wouldn’t be that unexpected.